Finding the balance between relationship, family, work, friends, and personal time may be a challenge. However, where your relationship is concerned, it is an endeavor that is well worth the energy invested to allow it to happen. Healthy relationships require your active presence. Being present in your relationship takes you to make plans, you to provide attention and you to follow through. So, get out your schedule and begin to create balanced time for those elements of importance -- be sure to include time for talking, time for sexual pleasuring, time for dating, time for romance and time for sexual satisfaction.
Intimacy is first and foremost between a person and his or her self. It is impossible for one to be intimate with another without being able to do so with themselves, and moreover, only after one is intimate with oneself can he or she remove their mask in front of others.Thus intimacy is directly related to revealing oneself. And revealing oneself creates the potential for a situation of "hurt": a situation in which my subject of intimacy is made aware of my weaknesses, aware and able to hurt me, but yet I trust that they won't.
When we speak of intimacy we are not talking here about the ability to feel close to another or the ability to care for clients or to self-disclose. These are important, of course, but many therapists do these things and create strong bonds with their clients. Instead, we're talking about therapists having worked through their own issues in dealing with the negative aspect of intimacy, what we call the "dark side" of passion.
Many lifelong spouses and long term friends share a strong mutual commitment with each other: Perhaps they have been through thick and thin and, having survived all kinds of changes, are still together. What holds them together? Some lasting relationships persist mainly due to insecurity, fatalism, or negative dependence. Happily, many others endure because of higher qualities such as forbearance, loyalty, and self-transcendence. Even if the road is rocky at times, these spiritual virtues provide a good foundation for a truly positive love life.
There are as many ways to create an intimate, emotional connection as there are people. Intimacy is a very personal experience--what can feel like a meaningful connection to you might feel very different to your partner. Ideally, you and your partner are compatible in your need for and expression of intimacy. When major incompatibilities exist, it will be essential for you and your partner to accept the different paths you each travel to achieve intimacy.
Distance in a relationship is created if the couple fails to establish and maintain the needed closeness. That is why intimacy is a fundamental element of a relationship right from the beginning. Every person who is in a relationship should be aware of how to create it, as the closeness is responsible for strengthening the emotional bond between the partners.
Write "I Love You ____" with chalk on the sidewalk outside their office building. Then call and challenge them to find the secret message you've left for them somewhere between work and home. Have a special prize (even a candy bar, perfume, cologne, a sexy "teddy" nightie, a new CD of his favorite group, etc.) to give them if they find the message. Your relationship intimacy will benefit.
Read about men magazine. Also read about ways to be romantic and ready for marriage
And also read other articles by Keelin Orla
No comments:
Post a Comment